Crippling Second Half: Or Not

Something that's been on my mind for a while now, and especially after seeing friends and family deal with it, is how to balance being committed and completely invested in your second half while trying to pursue an ultra-successful career. As I get older and witness love relationships develop, and even to the point where there are little miniatures running around, this topic has become real. It's not just, "go the movies and fuck" anymore. But that's still cool too hahah. 

I'd like to make a quick distinction. This only applies to people in the mindset where their career and ambitions are the first priority and their second half is on board or has the same mindset. Just getting to that point is a whole other discussion. Although, research does show that successful relationships ties in with a successful career. 

So what exactly are we talking about here? It's about having huge ambitions and wanting to make an impact pursuing passions, not just "work", while also building and maintaining a relationship with your second half. This is serious stuff and needs to be worked on a lot. First things first, goals and no matter what's need to be established. So where are you trying to go with your career and then what's the correlation of time/energy you've got to dedicate in order to reach those goals. Then from there you can make your ''no matter whats'' with your relationship. Whether that's spending a certain number of nights at home a week, having a certain number of weekends together a month, or whatever else you may establish as the 100% must haves. 

Something that deserves some discussion is the idea of prioritizing not necessarily meaning sacrificing but just adjustments. It's not that it's a one or the other thing with very much in this world, and that goes for career/relationship balance as well. During very demanding times at work, there may be some adjustments that need to be made to the relationship and vice versa. When your boyfriend/girlfriend is going through a hard time, you may need to give them more time and attention than normal. This is all ok. 

Making sure you involve your second half in career strategy and decisions is really important too. That gives them the chance to contribute to the conversation and make sure your decisions are fully thought out. You also will get a unique perspective from someone that knows you very well. This can be extremely valuable in anything. 

For me, it's brain space. When I've got a girl on my mind, the influence just reaches into the rest of life. That means there is a portion of brain space always there with her. That's a hard thing to manage. So the way I'm trying to think about it is really making that separation of time. Being with our person means REALLY being there and not getting distracted with work thought. Not saying it'll be easy but it's worth a try. 

Clearly, if this interests you at all you're probably mindful and aware. Making sure that your partner has this BEFORE investing in the relationship is a must. If for some reason you ignored all signs of chaos at the beginning and it starts to really affect you negatively, know when to cut it off. Having the awareness to cut off what's hampering you is a must. There's nothing like hanging onto and stressing over something that's already dead.